I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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