remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
