You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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