She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
