Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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