Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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