..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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