I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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