So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
