Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
