I heard we made out
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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