i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
