there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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