these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
