We're like a lot better than the average bears
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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