I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
