you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
