Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
