ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
