he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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