Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
porn star boner night. come get it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
