Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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