just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
