I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
