I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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