if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
