Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
