I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
