so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
