I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
