is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
