i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
