just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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