white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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