so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
