i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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