but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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