hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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