Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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