his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
