yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
