what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
