probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
