from now on my penis is your penis
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
