one two three fourrrrnication!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we made out on top of his cat.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
