super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
