David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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