Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
