ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Randomize
