So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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